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Delivery Plans

As most of you know by now, we live in Qatar and while we love it here, there are a few things, especially pregnancy related, that irk me. We have had generally good care and luckily, we have some pretty cautious doctors who are more than willing to see me every two weeks. This is partly due to a cord blood flow issue in our Baby B. She's fine and is growing, but they have been monitoring her closely. I would be lying if I said I hated the biweekly appointments.

But, the woes come in the form of delivering the twins. We have a lot of options, because of my insurance, between private and public hospitals, but after consulting with our former doctor she suggested we go to the public hospital. And really, it is the best hospital in the country as they are set up really well for emergencies and have a great NICU should we need it. However, they do not allow husbands to be in the labor room or the delivery room. In fact, nobody but mom, doctors, and eventually babies, are allowed in th…
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Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS)

At our twelve week ultrasound Baby B had a high reading for the Nuchal Translucency (NT) screening. This screening measures the fluid behind a baby's neck to possibly indicate Down syndrome, other trisomy related chromosomal abnormalities, or even heart defects. It is a relatively routine scan and many women do this scan along with blood tests for free beta hCG and PAPP-A. The results from the scan and blood tests then calculate the risk for chromosomal abnormalities and indicates whether invasive testing should be considered. We had a scan at 11w5d and our doctor indicated that everything was normal. But, after getting into the private hospital, we had another scan at twelve weeks. This scan showed that Baby B had a NT measurement of 4mm. The threshold is about 2.8mm.

We found this out the afternoon of the evening we were leaving for our summer holiday.

The doctor we saw suggested we have a Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS) test done. CVS is performed either trasncervically or tran…

Knocked Up x2

It has been nearly three months since I last posted, but for good reason. I am pregnant. With twins. And we wanted to keep it under wraps until we had a bit more clarity. But, yesterday, we went social media official so, it only seems appropriate to finally blog about the first 15 weeks of my twin pregnancy.

On April 11, 2017, we transferred two of our remaining eight embryos in a frozen embryo transfer (FET) procedure. On April 16, 2017 (at 5dp5dt), I took my first at home pregnancy test and it was positive! Now, as many of you know, we are not strangers to a positive pregnancy test so, we were very skeptical and cautious. On April 20, 2017 (at 9dp5dt) I had my first beta hCG test and it came back positive with a reading of 158.82. Two days later it had appropriately doubled to 417.41. This was a milestone for us. We had never had doubling beta hCG numbers. With this, we scheduled our first ultrasound for May 2, 2017. That ultrasound revealed two gestational sacs. The following week,…

What Infertility Has Taught Me

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I thought I would share what infertility has taught us.

1. Our first failed cycle was nothing to cry over. Sure, it sucked. It sucked terribly that I was certain that if I ovulated I would get pregnant. It sucked that I had to give myself *gasp* one shot and it lead nowhere.

2. Our second (cancelled) cycle was also nothing to cry over. Okay, this time I had to give myself more than one shot and then the cycle was canceled. But, we knew I would respond well to IVF meds.

3. Infertility is a giant puzzle. A failed first cycle lead to us knowing that I can indeed ovulate on my own. A failed second cycle meant I would respond well to IVF meds. A successful FET meant I could get pregnant. All questions we did not know the answer to until we started down this path. All answers that lead to next steps that are so incredibly important on this journey.

4. Our first miscarriage was something to cry over. We moved to IVF. I shot myself in the stomach a…

When Anger Leaves, Life Begins

Over the past week or so I have spoken with quite a few women who are pregnant after infertility, just  gave birth after infertility, or are beginning their path to IVF after other attempts have been unsuccessful. In these conversations I noticed how different my perspective is from when I began this journey. When Pants and I began seeing an RE we had the naive optimism that getting me to ovulate would equal pregnancy and baby and happy ever after. When we began IVF we had the same naive optimism that our FET would yield a successful pregnancy. We never envisioned an FET miscarriage, a natural miscarriage, and a natural biochemical pregnancy. Not once did we think we would experience such heartache. But, we did. And we grieved and we fought and we picked ourselves back up again. A lot of this rebuilding still involved difficult feelings of jealousy and a woe is me attitude.
Then, something changed. I began to realize that other people's success (on the journey or not) does not mea…

Indignation

A few weeks ago I was utterly indignant about my TTC journey thus far. Many of my close TTC friends have either had their babies or are now pregnant with their babies. While I am completely over the moon for them, it was very difficult to not feel a tiny huge sense of hopelessness. I felt like this upcoming FET had to be successful in providing us with our forever baby because if not, it would be entirely unfair. But guess what? This journey is unfair. From the moment we stepped into the RE's office, it was unfair. Hell, from the moment I was conceived, it was unfair. "Life isn't fair" my parents said to me, but when you are a child or teenager or in your early 20s, you do not realize how unfair life really is. And, if you are like me, in your early 30s you experience it and become indignant about it and then let it ruin you. Or you do not. For 31 years and 9 months, my life was ruled by indignation. By jealousy. By resentment. Then something changed. Most likely it …

Mom & Sister

On this International Women's Day, I find it pertinent to reflect on two of the important women in my life and their role in our TTC journey. The woman who gave me life and the woman who helps give my life meaning.

I find myself, in probably about 30-40% of conversations with my mom, getting incredibly upset with her. This, unfortunately, is not a new development. It has been like this my entire working memory of our relationship. Most would say this is because we are very similar, which is very, very true. Some women on this journey have a best friend in their mom, but my mom and I have never had that kind of relationship. I have a mom who is incredibly well-intentioned, almost to a fault, but who seemingly does not understand. And to her credit, a lot of that is my fault. I have this assumption that my mom will not understand what we are going through so I neglect to tell her. Of course I have reasons for this and she is not completely in the dark. She knows about IVF, she paid …