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Birth Story

As I write this, Twin A is fighting sleep, Twin B is about to wake up to be fed, and I have about 100 other things I should be doing (like passport applications). But, I want to share our birth story. A few weeks back I wrote about my wishes for the birth of our girls. And I can now say that not a single thing on that wishlist was met.

On Sunday November 12, I noticed that Twin B had not been moving as much as normal. Our doctors said if this happened that I should go to the emergency room for monitoring. And we did that. I was monitored, all looked good, but at the last moment, the doctor wanted an ultrasound. I went to ultrasound and found out that Twin B had not grown much in the last two weeks. When she was diagnosed with the cord blood flow issue they told us as long as the amniotic fluid level looked good, she continued on her own growth pattern, and the cord blood flow did not change, everything was okay. However, now she had slowed her growth. After the doctor reviewed my scan…
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Delivery Plans

As most of you know by now, we live in Qatar and while we love it here, there are a few things, especially pregnancy related, that irk me. We have had generally good care and luckily, we have some pretty cautious doctors who are more than willing to see me every two weeks. This is partly due to a cord blood flow issue in our Baby B. She's fine and is growing, but they have been monitoring her closely. I would be lying if I said I hated the biweekly appointments.

But, the woes come in the form of delivering the twins. We have a lot of options, because of my insurance, between private and public hospitals, but after consulting with our former doctor she suggested we go to the public hospital. And really, it is the best hospital in the country as they are set up really well for emergencies and have a great NICU should we need it. However, they do not allow husbands to be in the labor room or the delivery room. In fact, nobody but mom, doctors, and eventually babies, are allowed in th…

Reflections on Pregnancy

Sometimes it is an overwhelming feeling to know that our journey is coming to an end. An end I always hoped for, but never necessarily visualized. A journey I was never afraid of, but yet, shed so many tears over. A journey that has consumed three years of our lives. Half of our marriage. A journey I had to convince Pants to take with me. A journey that has led us here. Two days shy of 33 weeks pregnant with twins. I currently have about eight pounds of babies in my belly. Wiggly, hiccuping babies that fill me with more joy than I could have ever imagined. And yet, their upcoming birth will not mark the end of our journey. It creates a new one, but one that will have always begun with infertility.

Infertility is a difficult word for me because I am successfully pregnant, and have been pregnant in the past, I am not really infertile. I guess I am more, fertility challenged. When we began trying for a child in 2014, I'm not sure I realized what a long and arduous task it would be to…

Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS)

At our twelve week ultrasound Baby B had a high reading for the Nuchal Translucency (NT) screening. This screening measures the fluid behind a baby's neck to possibly indicate Down syndrome, other trisomy related chromosomal abnormalities, or even heart defects. It is a relatively routine scan and many women do this scan along with blood tests for free beta hCG and PAPP-A. The results from the scan and blood tests then calculate the risk for chromosomal abnormalities and indicates whether invasive testing should be considered. We had a scan at 11w5d and our doctor indicated that everything was normal. But, after getting into the private hospital, we had another scan at twelve weeks. This scan showed that Baby B had a NT measurement of 4mm. The threshold is about 2.8mm.

We found this out the afternoon of the evening we were leaving for our summer holiday.

The doctor we saw suggested we have a Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS) test done. CVS is performed either trasncervically or tran…

Knocked Up x2

It has been nearly three months since I last posted, but for good reason. I am pregnant. With twins. And we wanted to keep it under wraps until we had a bit more clarity. But, yesterday, we went social media official so, it only seems appropriate to finally blog about the first 15 weeks of my twin pregnancy.

On April 11, 2017, we transferred two of our remaining eight embryos in a frozen embryo transfer (FET) procedure. On April 16, 2017 (at 5dp5dt), I took my first at home pregnancy test and it was positive! Now, as many of you know, we are not strangers to a positive pregnancy test so, we were very skeptical and cautious. On April 20, 2017 (at 9dp5dt) I had my first beta hCG test and it came back positive with a reading of 158.82. Two days later it had appropriately doubled to 417.41. This was a milestone for us. We had never had doubling beta hCG numbers. With this, we scheduled our first ultrasound for May 2, 2017. That ultrasound revealed two gestational sacs. The following week,…

What Infertility Has Taught Me

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I thought I would share what infertility has taught us.

1. Our first failed cycle was nothing to cry over. Sure, it sucked. It sucked terribly that I was certain that if I ovulated I would get pregnant. It sucked that I had to give myself *gasp* one shot and it lead nowhere.

2. Our second (cancelled) cycle was also nothing to cry over. Okay, this time I had to give myself more than one shot and then the cycle was canceled. But, we knew I would respond well to IVF meds.

3. Infertility is a giant puzzle. A failed first cycle lead to us knowing that I can indeed ovulate on my own. A failed second cycle meant I would respond well to IVF meds. A successful FET meant I could get pregnant. All questions we did not know the answer to until we started down this path. All answers that lead to next steps that are so incredibly important on this journey.

4. Our first miscarriage was something to cry over. We moved to IVF. I shot myself in the stomach a…

When Anger Leaves, Life Begins

Over the past week or so I have spoken with quite a few women who are pregnant after infertility, just  gave birth after infertility, or are beginning their path to IVF after other attempts have been unsuccessful. In these conversations I noticed how different my perspective is from when I began this journey. When Pants and I began seeing an RE we had the naive optimism that getting me to ovulate would equal pregnancy and baby and happy ever after. When we began IVF we had the same naive optimism that our FET would yield a successful pregnancy. We never envisioned an FET miscarriage, a natural miscarriage, and a natural biochemical pregnancy. Not once did we think we would experience such heartache. But, we did. And we grieved and we fought and we picked ourselves back up again. A lot of this rebuilding still involved difficult feelings of jealousy and a woe is me attitude.
Then, something changed. I began to realize that other people's success (on the journey or not) does not mea…